he opened up.

talked things out.

things are fine now dear.

never felt so sure.

no one's to blame.

was god who wanted to put us three to a test.

and i guessed we passed it with flying colours.

hurhur.

free myself.

break away.

beargghh.

haha.

wrote a song just now.

it was very random.

wrote about this girl who keep playing games with me.

wanting her to stop cause im tired.

all it brought was exhaustion to myself.

something like that.

still got some more lines to go.

tomor got counselling.

fuck.

going alone.

dammit.

sgh.

wearghhhhh!

that is like damn far sia.

knn.

---

so much for the tongue defect.

=)

thank you.

hee

blue.

its raining.

love this weather.

especially at night.

but fuck.

i can't seem to sleep.

close my eyes and i cant find you.

i'm captivated.

i'm disappointed.

weeee

---

i want to sleeep.

i want to have beautiful dreams of a lady.

hahaha.

pretty one.

feeeweeet.

neck ache neck ache.

aghh!

hello.

it might seem as simple as it sounds.

but its not.

just feel like stating that.

random stuff.

i'm just really tired.

tired of running away.

i dont know from what.

but i know i am running away

---

maybe its true.

maybe thats the reason why i've always falter.

maybe it was all along my doing.

never did this came across my mind before.

guessed i was too busy directing blames on other people rather then on myself.

what if its true.

sigh.

i sense something is amiss.

something that is not supposed to happen,happened.

but im not sure whether i'm supposed to know.

shall keep mums about it.

till someone tells me instead.

feel like punching.

sensed that something was left untold.

something vital.

gave me the head and the ass.

that is as good as not telling.

fuck it.

tried to calm down by writing on my song book.

and hell did it work.

ankle's feeling better.

right after taking the pain killers.

it worked wonders.

could run again.

weee.

---

thanks for accompanying me.

=)

here's what i wrote in my book.

---

let me out of this entrapment.

rope me out of this confusion.

terrified by your rampant beauty.

hanging on by the tip of my finger

she showered me with anger.

I never thought things will turn out like this.

the World's upside down with everything amiss.

i'm nulled.

in this enchantment.

runnin all my life .

finding the soln.

look at me.

look at me now.

tell me what do you see.

look at me look at me now.

tell me do you feel it

put out the flame.

when its wet with rain.

assure me there is no sparkle left.

for your touch is no deft.

leave me something to linger.

---

here's another.

---

the sound of raindrops.

grazing my face.

the smoke rises creating a haze.

i dont want to be anywhere near you.

even if u cried me a river.

rainy days i'm oh so lonely.

so it'll be today.

what you said to me when i was to sleep.

was all bullshit.

anger sinks in and sadness surfaces.

just how it's always like when it pours.

rain drops falling down to my face.

as it turns to tears.

remember who was i.

just another passing phase.

---

weee..

emo giler eh.

thanks to someone's blog la i became emo lately.

wdh.

cheerios

my body's exhausted.

my mind exhausted.

i need to rest.need to settle down.

need to start concentrating on my studies.damn.

my ankle is on critical damage.

it swelled up really bad overnight.

felt frustrated when i woke in the morning.the ankle was stiff like meat

was nearly in tears cause i could barely walk.

the ankle is bruised too.

that scares me.

look at me.

what do you see?

my mind is empty.

so is my heart.

my legs are numb.

so is my heart.

its been so long.

so long that i forgot how it feels like.

to be loved.

sometimes i wonder.

will i ever be loved again.

will i ever get to feel how it is like to fall in love once more.

will you find me someone.

someone for me to put my arms around.

give her a thousands kisses.

hold her tight when she's cold.

borrow her my shoulder to cry on.

hear out all her complains.

carry her around when she's tired.

talk her to sleep.

i want that.

really bad.

i don't wanna be alone anymore.

i've been alone for too long.

Tell me when the stars drop
For I want to see you before my heart stops
One last time
But you have been running away
Never gave me a chance
To say
Take yesterdays feelings awayPut me where I long to be

not yet a finished article.

gonna take time doing up this song.

wanna put my heart and soul on it.

cheerios

jaded

at long last.

im back again.

haha.

too tired to blog ah recently due to soccer activities.

eurgh.

been playin soccer non-stop these past few days.

tired like fuck sia.

just now had our semi finals match and during a match there was a free-for-all.

punches were flying and we won.

the fight i mean.

haha.

we lost the match by a goal to nil.

nvm.

we were the underdogs baby.

we went all out in every game and i'm proud of that.

keep on trying guys.

after the game me,lela and rahman went for pre-dinner meal at tamp.

then made our way to starbucks.

sat there like zombie,talk cock and stuff.

my ankle hurts like fuck.

even if i never move it is still painful.

goddammit.

baby when i get u back.

im gonna show u what im made of.

boys of summer.

taa

hello there.

im tired man.

ergh.

played soccer just now in the rain.it was fun tho.had a few laughs here and there.

then made my way to starbucks jj with apek to meet kamal.

then lelaa and jihad tagged along.

had small talks.

really small talks ah cause basically i spent my time at the back with hafiz and kamal.

hahah.

didnt managed to talk to lelaa that much tho.AGAIN.haha

kuku.

yesterday also.

i think suay ah there.haha.

nevermind.

even if i prefer talkin to her face to face because if i talk to her on the fon she would fall asleep.

haha.

really.

after 5 minutes she will sound supah blur.

haha.

then i will feel as if im talking to myself.

dengdeng betol.

haha.

well thats better than nothin rite?

haha.

you guys noe what.

only just now did it struck to me that i really miss those days working at the bazaar.

there is where i get to see alot of people and make friends with.

i met the nicest craziest people there.

there is first sri and huimin.then comes lela and izzie then jihad.

then i get to be really close with my friends.like faliq apek kamal nas.

miss chilling at zeenath.not forgetting to mention azmi.the worker there.

haha.

then havin late nites pool games and bowling games.

but most importantly there is where i get to be close with my mom.

really.

never have i spend that much time with her in my entire life.

after the bazaar then did i understand more in depth about my mom.

even tho we sometimes argue but now i understand why she's always angry at me.

now i noe she is always angry at me for a right reason.

those were the best days of my life.

really.

i really miss the times when we will go work together.buy food together.

meet the chill corner guys.

sit in the back of the car with her.

sometimes have pre-work outing such as catching a movie and etc.

haa.

never will i be able to that again.

feeling so free.

with nothin to worry about.

now im always tied up with school.

fuck shit.

but next yeaar mum says we gonna do it once more!

yay!

haha.

cant wait mann.

i need to lose weight.

asap mann.

if not i lose my bet!

eurgh!

haha.

to lela.

I'M GONNA WIN THAT BET AH

boo

oi.

why everyone online not talking to me ha?

all action sia.

haha.

byee.

cheerios.

weeee..

long time never post.

been preoccupied with stuff ah.

damn.

fucking hell.

monday school from 8 to 7.

cheebye

1 to 7 no break at all.

die la like that.

today's day was dull.

did nothin much.

so ya.

haha.

watching soccer.

singapore vietnam.

singapore play shitty sia.

but nvm.

im still behind them.

rah!

hahahah.

dont know what to write already la.hahah

bye.

fuck you.

went out with the tp dudes yesterday.

was hilarious ah.

haha.

school was dull as usual.

fucking hell.hate mondays cause tutorial starts at 8.

damn sia.

so fucking early.how u expect me to wake up sia.

knn.

after school,met kamal and geng.

went to lounge play pool.

sorry lela for being late.

really really am.

because of my lateness,u were late for training.

haii.

howells.

tomor gonna play soccer.brooom.

GOAL!

haha.

fuck u.bye

Jaded

Where’s the medication that I’ve got to take?
Give me a gun and I’ll put a bullet thru my head.
Seems to me this is not worthwhile after all
Go tell all your friends.
So they wont be appalled.

The rain comes down
The sky turns red
Hear this
don’t bury me when im dead

Kiss me and I will be much stronger
Sleeping pills and cigarettes wont do any good
Cause its been pulling me down further and further!
I’ve been buried too deep
U cant hear me scream!

The rain comes down
The sky turns red
Hear this
Don’t bury me when I’m dead

Look at me now
What do you see?
Drown together with me
In the sea.

so yet another song.in the mood lately to write songs.i tried my best not to make it sound so gay but i think i failed.haha.

fuck it.

at least it doesnt sound gay right?

haha.doest it?

been unfair things.

but fuck them all.

cant seem to get things going.

goo.

haha.

oi lela.since u never mention my name at your blog i aint gonna talk about

you over here anymore.

void.

listening to U2-All I Want is You

been moody here and there.but im fine muthafuckers.cheerios.

school's fine.hanging out with the metal boys now.haha.they are hilarious i tell you.

been missing the first few lessons lately.couldnt seem to drag myself out of the house

dammit.

met kamal and rahman at ubi cdc around 230.actually was havin tut.then the class was nowhere

to be found so i happily skipped it.but got an mc la deyy.haha.smart eh?

den lela joined us.

for awhile only tho.cause after that we went home.on the way walkin to the bus stop.it suddenly rained.dammit.had to sprint all the way to the busstop.wait.its was more of walking with bigger steps.my pants were heavy la.haha.

then sat at the busstop.we ended up at the void deck.godknowshow.

haha.

sat there for like an hour plus.haha.

kept on saying 5 more mins i go off.

haha.

just sat there doing nuts.

well my nuts nearly got whacked.

phew.

close call.damn u.

haha.

just hit me if u think im like him.

cause the world has enuf of 1 of him.

two would be infernal.

i never want to emulate what he had done.

nononono.

you know i hate light.

dont make it look so pretty burning.

cheerios.

toodles.

signing off feeling empty.

i really owe lelaaa..

she's been there when i needed someone the most.

i didnt tell her u know.

but she knew something was wrong.

damn.

think she got sixth sense.haha.

boooo!

school was nice todayy.

slack.

i think im gonna love cmsy.its about computer hardware and shit.

woo.

hands on i think.

well this is what im looking forward to.

other than that fndb seems simple.

haha.yup.think im able to hold on man.phew.

manage to write a song just now during tutorial.

came back home immediately worked on it.

but still not complete.

its called Come Back Down

eug says its a lifehouse song

well.didnt noe it was.so heck.maybe.haha

here it goes

Come Back Down

verse

get it off my chest

or i'll never rest

bring me back up

come over and pucker up

she's like a jewel

its rotting like a corpse

what she did was cruel

the rain never stops

be find without trying

i've been waiting for too long

push me back down

for i am writing this song

its not about you

this where the nightmare begins

i've never felt this blue

when i'm not holding you

chorus

come baaacck....down

try me if u dare

i'm not a clown

come baaacck...down

see if you care

when you see my frown

come baaacck...down

verse

killed myself

without me knowing it

that i've been dead since 12

no wonder none bothered

so i'll always be sobered

its never about you

this where the nightmare begins

chorus

ladies and gentleman boys and girls.presenting.

err.

i dont know.

well.todays the first day of school and it was hell.

boring la.

i dont wanna go school anymore!

burr!

met with eugene belo to go play pool at mega.been a looongg time since i last

battled it out with eugene.well all i can say it was a draw.

wasnt it?

ahah.i dont know.

been trying to push away to find you

im sorry im sorry its not you

getting off my chest.the story ends.

i will find a way without youu

haha.ok that was a song.hmm.been quite down these few days but nothin can pull me down so down that im practically proning.haha.ok lame.hmm.im shagged.

i guess i wont be able to find out what its supposed to mean.

im not gonna try to find out whether it will turn reality.

woot.never will i i think.haha.should be la.

i dont wanna go over the border.

it will not help me.

what if it turned out to be just like what i think it will be

it will be chaos man.total chaos.

lela keeps on bugging me what my nick is referring to.

well huns.figure it out.

im sure you will figure it out.haha.

i hate dreams.

it makes me ponder trying to figure out whats behind it.the true meaning.yesterday i didnt dream of anythingg as i was too tired.

really shagged.man u won.yay..fuck u to all chelsea fans.bah!

sometimes i take dreams as just dreams and never will turn reality.

but havin two dreams that are technically about the same creeps me out

what if it really gonna happen.

well.i dont know to be happy or to be sad la.

im just err.

ok la.i shall be havin mixed reaction.

i will go like "yayaarghhh!"

haha.

yeap.fair enough.

hurhur.

i hate her.

fuck u.

u think im a fool believing that u stumbled upon it

im not a kid anymore.

i have brains to think of it.its so ridiculous.

u dont wanna talk to me?

ok thats fine with me.

loggin off in an angry mood

lela lawa!

lela lawa, and haikal is jealous!

nyahaha!

and kakaal dreams funny dreams. like..

heh heh (:

[-lela]

hoii...SELAMAT HARI RAYA AIDILFITRI TO ALL MUSLIMIN DAN MUSLIMAT DAN MUSIBOT DAN MUSIBAT!!HAHAHAHA...okie

actually im not in the festive mood..

dono why also..

i think because i was too caught up with werk thats why

but nevermind

got my payy!

wooots!

shall leave the sum undisclosed or

i will get anonymous calls

hahah

hmm

but this year's raya eve is by far the most memoriable to me ah

got to spend time with my buddies all night.

haha..

it was tiring true but mixing with the right people at a kecoh place is very happening

haha.ape siak aku bebual.nvm.

started work at 8 yesterday

came with lelo.she buka at my house and recieved a welcome scratch by my cat.haha.padan muke dier.hehe..kidding.belo and hafiz came at about 10 and faliq.kamal and jihad joined us later.

we screamed our lungs out selling our stuff

"BAJU KEBAYA MURAH2.HANYA 40 DOLLAR!BAG KERAS SAMSONYTE 18 DOLLAR!PILIH2!

haha..wtf.was really crazy mann..all of us screamed cept for faliq,mak aku ngan lelo.haha.

after work me lelo hafiz kamal faliq nurul bug belo decided to go have breakfast together.

treated them to mac

haha.went to the joo chiat there.dunnoe what its called.but nice place.

haha.talked crap.alot of shit la.

but lelo was silent.

haha.think she soiled herself.haha.ketawa pon silent mood siol

haha..dongong.

after which we then made our separate ways back home.

reached about 7 plus.saw the bed and landing.

boom.

was about to sleep.

then lelo called..

grr..mengacau je tau.i asked her why u call me out of the blue.she said juust wanna check whehter im asleep or not

aww.sound sweet eh?not till u hear the other side of the story.

we made a bet.

who sleeps first owes the other person a daisy.so.yaa..haha u get my point?

daisy..daisy.i dont even know how it llooks like.haha

I WANNA GO WEEWEE..eh no.I WANNA GO SHOPPPPE!!BURRR

im gonna slim down and win that bet with lelo..bah!

gonna miss the bazaar mann..really.

but mom's considering to sell again next year!yay.

gonna miss meeting lelo.boohoo..

no more bukering with her and jad.

no more pre-work outing.haha

no more.err.

no more of whatever we did during the month of ramadhan.

shit

i need to go

wait.

i dont

but i do need to go

cause i wanna sleep

haha

toodles

she said she missed me..wooo