twisted mind

i am really tired.tired of all this.waiting.guessing.

feel like giving up.

i guess ive been a fool for thinking that you'd always need me.

a fool i am.

a big fool.

%&*$^

called and heard her weeping.my imagination ran wild.

couldnt get my mind of it.everything i drank and ate tasted blunt.worried as hell.her gf said she'd do fine but i was stubborn.hope you're okay.the thought of you weeping stabbed my heart.


i still do care bout you girl.take care


if you feel like youre alone
well no, you're not alone
if you're on your own
in this life
and the days and nights are long
if you think had too much
of this life well hang on
everybody hurts
take comfort in your friends

take interest take notice

ahh.

just came back from a short jog.haha.really SHORT jog.about 15 minutes i say.went with lela.haha.she la pester me to follow.but it felt great after jogging.good thing i jogged tho cause i prolly wont be able to sleep.yela.mane tak.sleep for 12 hours today.hahahaha.

woke up.feeling lost.realising oh ya.i am lost.haha.

delusion.

maybe baby.ahhh.don't know what to type already.






warmth of your touch.
you got me all wrong.
im never selfish.
im always strong.
delusioning now hesitating now.
take my throat and ive got to be honest
ive been waiting for you all my life.
so long now.
i fear ill go crazy if u leave by myside.
you got wits you got looks you got passion

just something very random here.

ill be true.ill be used ill be longed.ill be urs dear

you're not the boss of me

watched mega perdana just.woot.

nice.

keris was absolutely terrific.in short.they were different

VERY different.

cant wait for the finals.yippee!

finally met up with lela just now.she look different now.

hurhur.now she doesnt wear a rag on her head nimore.it grew into a table cloth!

heh.

but it looks good on her laa especially with her "rokok gulong" earings and "tangkal" on her neck

after mp i went back straight cause i was really shagged.slept at 7 and woke up at 12!woo.haha.
mcm babi siak.

tomorrow will be going to sae to submit the form!yea.haha.cant wait to start school.rah!

it feels nice to see her.gosh.was i really nervous.sorry i had to go off so soon.seeyou again.
it made my day really.thanks

i want you to know this

she's running out again!she's running out.she run run run ruuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuunnnnnn!
whatever makes you happy.whatever you want.you're so very special.i wish i was special.

things have changed.some i understand but some i dont.

ive heard a lot of stories about you.im not ashamed but actually i got to know more about you.
things that i've been oblivion about.overshadowed by you.the person i thought i knew.

you're so very special.i wish I was special...

scarlett johannson

she's hot.yupyup.scarlett johannson.she looks a bit like jessica alba yea.hahha.watched the island yesterday night.terrific show man.

playing soccer in awhile at st.wilfred.

yesterday had a meet up session with fad,roz and mar.mar was the one who planned all this but it the end she didnt come.hah.ass.her boyfriend was in a bike accident.fair enough.hurhur.

so kamal azleen and belo tagged along.we met up at parkway starbucks and just talked practically about everything.from politics to relationships.wan then later came along.

we shared lotsa laughs.was fun.haha.then we played pool for awhile and came back home.

ergh.i need to go send the form to sae soon!

who wanna follow?heh

my eyesight is getting worse.shitass.

toodles

school of audio engineering

ahh.finally.finally ive settled my school issue.its been bothering me till now.now its gone.wee.
cause my dad has agreed me to send me there.woo.

im actually excited for this.reason being im going to school of audio engineering doing diploma in audio engineering.its a very interesting course.something ive been interested since young.

i believe i can do well in this.

*fingers crossed*

well my day went quite well today.met up with hannan ali and yazid near hannan's place and ate briyani!woo.hannan's dad has the most delicious briyani i tell you.should try!haha.

then kamal came along and we went to watch mi3!which nurul came to join us in the middle of the movie.it was a nice show.different from the previous sequels.

howell.then went to sae to pick up my application which i found out i have it at home.hahaha.asscrack pussywet dimwit cockgagger.hahha.then we played pool.after like ages of not touching a cuestick.i did pretty well i think.haha.the place was fucking expensive tho.10 bucks per hour.yea.haha.then we went sheesha.AGAIN.ergh.all nurul's nagging and whining of wanting to go there.so being us gentleman.haha.we "full-heartedly" agreed to go.huahuahua.wan tagged along and we had a crazy time there.haha.

came back home and here i am.eyes half closed but rebelling not to sleep.weargh!

-=-

Muse

time is running out

I think I'm drowning

asphyxiating

I wanna break the spell

that you've created you're something beautiful

a contradiction

I wanna play the game

I want the friction

you will be

the death of me

yeah, you will be

the death of me

bury it

I won't let you bury it

I won't let you smother it

I won't let you murder it

our time is running out

and our time is running out

you can't push it underground

we can't stop it screaming out

I wanted freedom

but I'm restricted

I tried to give you up

but I'm addicted

now that you know I'm trapped

sense of elation

you'll never dream of breaking this fixation

you will squeeze the life out of me

bury it

I won't let you bury it

I won't let you smother it

I won't let you murder it

our time is running out

and our time is running out

you can't push it underground

we can't stop it screaming outh

ow did it come to this you will suck the life out of me

bury itI won't let you bury it

I won't let you smother it

I won't let you murder it

our time is running out

and our time is running out

you can't push it underground

we can't stop it screaming out

how did it come to this

rapid hope loss

yup.im still awake.

its 530 im awake.

woowee.

haha.

watched hotel rwanda just now.

was a really good movie.

now im trying to sleep.

-=-

Collective soul

"Run"

Are these times contagious

I've never been this bored before

Is this the prize I've waited for

Now as the hours passing

There's nothing left here to mature

I long to find a messenger

Have I got a long way to run [x2]

Yeah, I run [x2]

Is there a cure among us

From this processed sanity

I weaken with each voice that sings

In this world of purchase

I'm going to buy back memories

To awaken some old qualities

Have I got a long way to run [x2]

Have I got a long way to run [x2]

Yeah, I run [x2]

Have I got a long way to run [x2]

Yeah, I run [x4]

[background:]Have I got a long way to run [x4]

dream

yesterday night i had i dream.i was with my friends opposite tp walking near kfc there.i decided to buy a can of coke at the hawker centre there when these two girls appeared beside me.

they were laughing and having fun.i didnt bother to look at em but suddenly this girl rested her head on my shoulder.haha.i turned and she just smiled.it was like as if she was flirting with me that kinda thing.not that she rested on my shoulder and sticked there.haha.

i turned to her friend and she was my old friend.shikin.haha.she said sorry to me but i just smiled and said its okay.so i asked her whats her name she told me widya.not bad eh.we ended up talking with each other with shikin.alas i got her number.

here comes the funny part.the next day she called and said she wanted to meet me.and the next thing i know was she appeared in front of my house in a six door limousine.hahahahaha.cool shit huh.she turns out to be a daughter of a reach dad.woo.hahaha.after that i woke up.dang

it felt so real though.so real that i asked myself whose widya.she was pretty.and we had that chemistry.haha.

one of those days when i actually remembered my entire dream.i miss lela.sigh

this is not goodbye

why do you have to run.

ive been chasing u ever since.

ill never stop chasing hoping that u'll one day get tired of running.

how do you seem to be able to adjust with the situation now.

im having a torrid time without you here.

but there you are having the best days of your life.

its unfair you know.

maybe because you have alot of friends to spend your time with.

well not me.

-=-

Plus 44

no it isn't

Please understand This isn't just goodbye

This is I cant stand you

This is where the road crashed into the ocean

It rises all around me

And now we're barely breathing

A thousand faces we'll choose to ignore

[chorus]

Curse my enemies forever

Lets slit our wrists and burn down something beautiful

This desperation leaves me overjoyed

With fading lights that leads us past the lives that we destroy

I listen to you cryI cry for less attention

But both my hands are tied

And I'm pushed into the deep end

I listen to you talk but talk is cheap

And my mouth is filled with blood

From trying not to speak

So search for an excuse

And someone to believe you

In foreign dressing rooms

I'm empty with the need to

[chorus]

Curse my enemies forever

Lets slit our wrists and burn down something beautiful

This desperation is leaving me overjoyed

With fading lights that leads us past the lives that we destroy

Please understand This isn't just goodbye

This is I cant stand you

dim lights

i missyou lela

supersize me!

loving everybody hurts by dashboard currently.

such a nice songs.

like ed says it gives the rainy feeling.

the song is what been putting me to sleep.

hiez.

she thinks im pretentious.

im not.

i dont have pick up lines.

i dont have pity lines.

i have none.

its all from my heart.

the night is yours alone.

i missyou lela.

i really do.

will you ever come back?

will you?

i wish i was strong as him.

i have so many wishes.

seems like my story is like a rerun huh girl?

i hate it.

let your legs follow the beat to the person.

my heart beats for you.

does yours?

if i am

"If I Am"

So your standing on a ledge,

It looks like you might fall.

So far down,

Or maybe you were thinking about jumping.

Now you could have it all,

If you learned a little patience!

For though I cannot fly,

I'm not content to crawl!...

So give me a little credit,

Have in me a little faith!

I want to be with you forever,

If tommorow's not too late!...

But it's always too late when you've got nothing So you say!...

But you should never let the sun set on tommorow,

Before the sun rises today...

IF I AM!

Another waste of everything you dreamed of,

I will let you down...

IF I AM!

Only here to watch as you suffer,

I will let you down...

So your walking on the edge,

And you wait your turn to fall.

But you're so far gone,

That you don't see the hands upheld to catch you.

And you could find the fault,

In the heart that you've been handed!

For though you cannot fly,

You're not content to crawl!...

But it's always too late when you've got nothing So you say!...

But you should never let the sun set on tommorow,

Before the sun rises today...

IF I AM!

Another waste of everything you dreamed of,

I will let you down...

IF I AM!

Only here to watch as you suffer,

I will let you down...

So you're standing on a ledge,

It looks like you might fall...

IF I AM!

Another waste of everything you dreamed of,

I will let you down...

IF I AM!

Only here to watch as you suffer,

I will let you down...

The answers we find,

Are never what we had in mind.

So we make it up as we go along...

You don't talk of dreams

I won't mention tommorow.

And we won't make those promises that we can't keep...

I will never leave you!

I will never let you down!

I will never leave you!

I will never let you down

Everbody Hurts - Dashboard Confessional(cover)

When the day is long and the night, the night is yours alone,

when you're sure you've had enough of this life, well hang on.

Don't let yourself go, everybody cries and everybody hurts sometimes.

Sometimes everything is wrong. Now it's time to sing along.

when your day is night alone, (hold on, hold on)

if you feel like letting go, (hold on)

when you think you've had too much of this life, well hang on.

Everybody hurts. Take comfort in your friends.

Everybody hurts. Don't throw your hand. Oh, no. Don't throw your hand.

If you feel like you're alone, no, no, no, you are not alone

If you're on your own in this life, the days and nights are long,

when you think you've had too much of this life to hang on.

Well, everybody hurts sometimes,

everybody cries. And everybody hurts sometimes.

And everybody hurts sometimes. So, hold on, hold on.

Hold on, hold on. Hold on, hold on. Hold on, hold on. (repeat & fade)

(Everybody hurts. You are not alone.)

its summer you will be mine

loving dashboard confessional.

went to mos on kamal's birthday.well its not really my cup of tea to club and dance.ha

cause i cant dance!

hahahaha.

tellyou mos was very fucking packed that when iwent to dance floor i couldnt air my armpits.

ahhaha.

but the highlight of the night was when i saw her.her big smile.rag on her head walking towards me.

managed to "dancee" with her for awhile then she had to go off.

hiez.

i really miss spending time with her sey.

lelaa.what happen to those days.

im not going away.

im gonna stay put here.

im still gonna be that kaikel u always call me.

im still gonna be that guy whom people mistake to be your boyfriend.

haha.

but bear in my mind no expectations.

but still u dont seem to be comfortable with me.

why?

tell me you can still be comfortable with me.

it kills to seeyou not smiling when im around.

it kills to know the girl whom i always look up to is not feeling comfortable with me

it kills to see that girl feeling constipated because of me.

what have i got to do to take that all away.

ill do anything lela.

anything.

u stood at your door with your hands on my waist and you kissed me like you meant it.i knew that you meant it

just another name

red and teary eyes.thats how my eyes were like when i left.im not expecting anything at all from you but it just hurts to se how things changed.im no longer your precious.

got a new top.from giordano.thats it.

haha.hehe.huhu.hoho

got to meet lela just now!after like eons.hahhaa.luckily i still remember how she looks like.

HA.

yea that long.

hehe.actually no lah no that long.

but its still long tho.

felt long to me.

as long as a train?

hmm.maybe not.

maybe as long as my hair.

talking about my hair.its seems like it cant grow anymore!!

fbsghefgbflwgb aghlfe vhflihefg

haha.yea that was a piece of my mind.

lela told me i should comb it with those brush comb thingy.

NOW WHY didnt i think of that.padahal ayah da bilang tau.

dengeng eh kau ni.

aisey bedah da start bebual sorang2 kau ni.haha.

went to sae just now with lela.haha.

the lady attending to ask had lotsa stuff to say to me that i had

a difficult time trying to digest it.

in the end when she asked

"so anything to ask?"

poof.

"err.not at the moment"

hahaha.

afterwhich we went to my mums stall!

haha.

really happy to hear her shop doing really well.yup yup.

was actually intending to see hisyam tapi kedai tutup.

then nak go eat at the western food shop near there.

but close.

asscrack dimwit.

then we made our way to tamp cause lela meeting her friend to go to goodness know who's chalet.haha

so i met azhari for the first time!

haha.

he looks downright chinese sia.haha

not what ive imagined him to look like.

cause azhari sounds so melayu.like pure malay.

haha.

so we walked around tamp to look for someone's birthday.

then we parted.

inside the bus it was so dim that i could barely open my eyes.haha.

oh ya.

my room smells of green tea now!haha.

cause i bought greentea air freshener and my mom gave me greentea fragrant body scrub.so more greentea smell.haha.

its strange how it smells so nice but taste like asscrack on fire.

well until then.cheerios

loveyou kontot

dont leave high!

currently listening to radiohead high and dry.lovely song dont you think so.

seems like im getting things moving again.thank god.i was like half dead at home for like 2 weeks without knowing what to do.its about time i do something about my education.yea.

today was family day.=)

for lunch we went to straits kitchen at hyatt hotel!woowee..brilliant food i tell you they got there.they have all the local food there.from muslim food to indian food.yummy.so my tummy got really filled.so filled that i didnt have dinner.haha.imagine yea.hahah.then after which i came back and met apek for coffee.we talked and talked then faliq and nurul came along.i was like woahh.where did they came from.haha.was pretty awkward tho cause after avoiding him for ages and suddenly he appears.haha.so i went back home at about nine and realised my brother his gf and my mom going to mustaffa!haha.of all places.i opted to follow since i got nothin to do.haha.i felt like dubai when i reached there.cause it was freaking filled by indians!haha.fyi.ive never been to mustaffa.haha.well had fun.bought cds and tons of chocolates!hahaha.pimples welcome back!

ive arranged a day out with lela tomorrow.like yea.after a long time.hurhur.intending to go to sae then job hunting.not pretty sure about job hunting tho cause i dont know what line im looking for.haha.anyways the idea of going out with lela just takes my breath away.haha.yea.its really nice to meet her you know.

im sleepy now.gonna go to bed.till then.goodnight