gonna missyou

it turns out the person who wanted to adopted the kittens wanted only one of em and i had to declined their proposal cause i did not want them to be separated from each other.so eventually i was stuck with them two

early in the morning dad was mad at me for bringing in the kittens.he gave me an ultimatum of giving them away by saturday or he will throw them all out.i was disgusted by his reaction.

so i was really mindfucked having thoughts of them being with me for the night.i will never forgive myself for the next thing i decided to do.i told kamal well since we can't keep em,we leave them outside the temple depan rumah kita ah.

i tugged myself out of the house.i didnt know what got me to do such evil sinful thing.everything felt numb in my head.it was all leave them outside and everything would be fine.all the way when i reach the temple i came back to my senses.i told kamal to do it cause i can't.immediately i shed a tear.as i left i saw them dazed in the dark and i cried.i felt like slapping myself.i went back in and still couldnt stop crying.i went back out.i was across the road and i saw naya,she was lost.she saw me and wanted to run towards me but was halted by a passing car.i cried even harder.she recognizes me.why am i such a fuck.i came back up and kamal told me he too had no heart to leave them outside.he called his dad and thankfully his dad let him bring in the kittens.my heart lit up.i cant show kamal how much i appreciated his deed.for if we would have eventually just leave the cats there i'll never get over it.so now the cats are with kamal.someone i trust.i know he will take good care of my adopted babies.

one thing i learned from this then self indulgence and selfishness can actually make you do things you would never imagine such as what i did.ill never ever forgive myself for that horrid and rash act.

im already missing their timid meows and scratchy paws snuggling into every corner of my body.the slipping of their paws when they walk and how they snuggle ontop of each other qhwn they sleep.jara,naya i'll always missyou.and hopefully ill still get to see you.for such small kittens,you carry alot of weight around especially the responsibilty that holds to take care of you.loveyou both