heyy..sorry i didn't update...was caught up with stuff and tons of problems tat i created.....fuck....i jus dunnoe what the fuck is happenin to me....my week has jus been so fucked up...no fuckin friend to turn to....she's busy with work work work..... i really really miss her man....miss the way we used to talk...the way we used to walk...the way we used to kiss....practically i jus miss u....the real u....people say everyone encounters changes...yea i agree..but if only i could turn back the time over and over again...its not tat i'm not happy with her now...i'm really happy jus to know tat i'm still hers and vice versa...the past few days had been havin sleepless nights....these nights seems like eternity....jus can't geddit outta my head....everytime i tell myself don't think too much,its ok...i still can't help it....i guess i'm paranoid....fuck....this is by far the most depressing week of my life...i dun smile a lot...i try too but some how in the end i feel like killing myself....yea...tats the word...sometimes when i dunnoe wat to do with the problem i feel like jus killing myself and its all over....cause when it comes to problems i'm not an ace....i can do things that ic an never forgive myself..like this prob i'm havin,those things i said to her came from my emotions not me...so i'm sorry again k?


everynight i wondered....what if one day i wake up knowin that both my legs were missin....then i told myself...tat is not as bad as waking up one day realising that she is no more part of my life...without my legs i can still be happy..but without her things can never be the same...she can say that i'm bullshittin or nuts...but this time i really mean wat i say....i never meant to hurt u...hurtin u i can never forgive myself...i jus get so jealous over things that can be considered stupid but she jus mean so much to me...i dun wanna let you go...


our conversations i dunnoe wats happenin to em....still remember those days when we use to talk till late at night and still feel fresh...but sometimes not....i really had fun....but know....i think i'm gettin dull and repetitive...i dun seem to make her laugh as much...smile as much....irritated as much..if she says i'm jus over the top over this little problem well be it....i believe to solve a problem you hav to explain your emotions...


i never wanted to show sour faces at her but i jus can't help it...sometimes the things she do or say to me really stab my heart...i still remember one day when we were in the bus...i dunnoe wat happen but everytime when i turned to look at you i feel like crying...i couldn't bare to look at her...i dunnoe why...what i need to know from her is what she is willin to do to savior this relationship or easy said does she still love me?sobs.....


well thats about it....if only she could read what's in my mind then she knows how i really feel...sometimes words can't express what i feel and instead givin a total different explanation....


To whom it may concern:don't take it so hard now...i'm sorry i can't be perfect but i'll give you my all...i promise you dat...all i wan in return is your love for me...that's all...i'd be over the moon...later in the near future we will see this again and we will laugh at how stupid and naive were we...so take care hav a good day always...i'll always be there by your side